How to Prolong Erections

When I first got the idea to do my topic for my audition with Q104, how to prolong erections, I thought I’d be going into the studio with merely a whole bunch of unsexy images to describe; a tennis racket squashing a loaf of bread, seven different versions of your grandmother, the amputation of the leg of an alpaca, but there are a variety of ways for dudes to stay harder longer and most of these techniques are primarily physical.

There are three levels or reasons to prolong an erection and hold back from ejaculating: to combat premature ejaculation issues, to extend a love making session, and for men to experience multiple orgasms.  That’s right.  men can come over and over again without losing much wood.  It’s not a myth like some weirdoes used to call female multiple orgasms.  Orgasm and ejaculation are not one in the same for women or men.  The Taoists and the Tantric lovers knew this thousands of years ago but Westerners have only been officially noticing it since the 40s when Alfred Kinsey did his studies so don’t feel dumb if you didn’t know.  Just get excited to know, if you practice hard enough (and believe me, it’s a fun thing to practice by yourself or with a lover) that you there, Phillip, Mike, Gary, any of you guys with penises; that you can experience multiple orgasms.

Before practicing any of these methods with a partner, it’s supremely important to communicate about what you both want out of sex.  Before I began my research, I asked a group of women in relationships if they even wanted their partner to hold back from coming.  There was a resounding attitude that passion was preferred over distance; quality over quantity.  There was a grumble of “finish up so I can get to sleep” and preference for men to finish, have a sandwich and repeat the process as many times as possible.  I consider it selfish male lovemaking for a man to bring me almost to climax and then hold back, say, by switching positions and miss out on a simultaneous orgasm.  Coming at the same time is frigging awesome, not many people can deny that.

My main point here is that sex with two people is meant for two people’s pleasure.  If you want the longest erection in the world and your partner wants a quickie just play with it yourself.  Sex by one’s self on the other hand is totally your deal and a great way to get used to a cock ring, practice things like the Masters & Johnson method, and using your PC muscles to convince an orgasm to go back into the body.

One Night Stands and Premature Ejaculation

We all know how passionate it can get when we screw someone for the first time and the best      easy answer type of advice I can give is to use a condom.  No, I’m not being a nag about surprise pregnancies or STDs—though avoiding them is an added bonus—the goal of slapping a cap on your junk is to reduce a bit of sensitivity so you don’t blow your load within a minute of banging the lady of your dreams you just met an hour ago.  It can make a bad impression.  Make choices once/if  you know and get each other and get tested for the clap and so on but be responsible and give yourself a boost to last longer the first few times.

Then there is the complaint that you can’t feel anything if you’re wearing a condom.  Well, I can’t either if you only get the cheap ones!  Spend a bit more money and time to find a brand that fits right.  Kimono and One I’ve found make it feel like he’s not wearing anything.

Of the women in relationships I talked to during my research for my upcoming audition; some with need in their eyes were very interested in hearing methods to postpone ejaculation.  All methods that follow can work to help the serial premature ejaculator.

I did some extremely unethical research on the internet and on my Plenty ‘o Fish account asked potential intimate encounter guys aged 23-35 how they would keep from ejaculating in my “*****” right away and promised them that I’d respond if they did.  The resounding reply was that they’d stop and get down and lick it.  Sorry to anyone I tricked into being involved in research instead of a potential hook up though you gotta admit it was a good conversation starter.  And frankly, people deceive other people on that site more than monkeys eat bananas.

Prolonging the Orgasm

Slow Down, Stop, or Switch.

Apart from slowing down your actual movements, regulating your breathing will help your heart rate to go down.  Taking a bit of a break, as long as you won’t kill your partner’s enjoyment, will help you get composure.  Besides, it is a good idea to let any erection subside a bit to let some of the blood recirculate into the body every twenty minutes or so.

Switching though, this is where it can get interesting or in some cases, annoying.  There have been times in the past where I felt I was in an Olympic event—something like going over hurdles in different contortions and never getting the chance to get into running in the middle.  I never understood switching from a guy’s perspective before.  As a female, I will call for a switch when I’m losing interest.  To me, I always thought that men switched positions for the same reason: that they were bored of the angle that their penis was entering and exiting my vagina.

Hopefully this is delightful news to other women who were naïve like me! But for the love of goodness gracious, if she’s happy with the direction you’re going and I know I mentioned it before but I can’t stress it enough, don’t slow down when she’s saying harder, don’t stop when she’s about to come, and don’t switch when she’s getting right into it.  Don’t miss the chance for the simultaneous orgasm.  And yes, I did think stopping and switching to lick the pussy was a great idea.

If, on the off chance that you finish slightly ahead, don’t despair! I’ve got some suggestions, some alternatives, other things you can do.  If ejaculating hasn’t completely destroyed your hard-on—seriously, some guys are built like that and some guys can magically do that once in a while—just keep going.  Even if it’s not as hard as it was seconds ago, grind it in there rubbing pubic bones together until she’s done or just, you know, see where it takes you.  If ejaculating hasn’t destroyed your energy, use your hand or dildo, toy, or other implement to get her off.  If you’re too tired to do that, ask her gently and firmly to finish herself off herself and continue to give her body attention with your eyes and hands—lips even.  If you’re too tired to even speak, please read onto the multiple orgasm part of this post.

Cock Rings

I know you only heard me mention a sarcastic list that involved an elastic band on Q104 but I don’t actually recommend using what is meant to be put on broccoli or hold a pony-tail together.  Making the effort to purchase something that is custom-made to make your dick look bigger and last longer is the way to go. Cock rings make your dick bigger and last longer by slowing the blood flow to the penis.  Because balls usually retract into the body during orgasm, cock rings also help to fend off coming by pulling the testicles away from the body    They are meant to be put on around the penis or the balls or the cock and balls together when not fully hard and fit snugly when hard.  C rings are only meant to increase the size a little bit so if it hurts or if it looks overly swollen, stop what you’re doing, take deep breaths, think of granny and get that thing off you knob.

There are many types out there in a variety of materials (leather, rubber, silicone, nylon, metal, and plastic).  Do your research, talk to your sales person.   Leather c rings with adjustable buckles and stretchy silicone ones are good for beginners.  Metal c rings should only be used by the experienced and should never be worn entering or exiting an airplane unless you want to have a really fun time going through security.

Cock rings shouldn’t be worn for longer than thirty minutes, should not be slept in, or forgotten about.[1]

Multiple Orgasms

Masters and Johnson Technique

Also known as the “squeeze” technique or that thing that my husband didn’t even know was a technique.  Sometime after 1957, these two white guys thought they invented it, felt very proud about it and named it after themselves.  It really is something guys have been doing long before and since regardless if they read any of M&J’s scientific books.  It involves squeezing the penis at the tip or the base but the tip is more effective just before it is about to ejaculate.

Ideally a thumb and an index and middle finger should be on either side of the ridge of the head of the penis squeezing hard but not enough to cause pain.  In theory there should be orgasm but no ejaculation, the energy of the orgasm should recede into the body.  The penis should be continued to be squeezed until the throbbing passes, pressure slowly released and sex can go ahead and continue.  Some or most of the orgasm may be lost but will recover quicker than it would have if it had ejaculated.  It takes practice; it might be a good idea to cultivate this technique on your own to begin with.[2]

The Difference between Orgasm and Ejaculation

When we say come or cum when we’re talking about women it can easily mean either contractions or squirting.  We usually have to get another detail or judge by the look on her face what she meant by “I came last night on the rug in front of the fire.”  When men say they come , nine times out of ten, they mean t their cock throbbed and puked a bit, they reached orgasm and ejaculated.  The truth is that orgasming and ejaculating  are not the same thing.

An orgasm is the contraction of the penis, prostate, pelvic muscles and an ejaculation is a reflex coming from the base of the spine.  They just happen so close together that they’re thought to be one in the same.

I can’t speak for being a boy but I’ve heard that they tend to play with themselves and orgasm before they ever ejaculate or have a wet dream.  I sure know that is true for girls and women as I “came” plenty but didn’t ejaculate until I was well into my twenties.  I don’t even think I knew it was possible before it happened to me.

PC Muscle (aka Kegel Muscle, aka pelvic floor)

Men and women are not really that different, we even have the same muscle grouping around our junk.  Having this muscle nice and fit and exercised makes it a bit like a trampoline for sperm.  Using the PC muscle to contract around the prostate during orgasm can stop an orgasm.  Now, information about the pubococcygeus muscle was cut from Thursday’s talk but I think flexing your muscle is the most useful tip and healthy way to quell ejaculation.

I’ve known since my early teens that exercising the vagina muscle is a healthy thing to do.  My mother told me where and what to exercise when we were driving home from town.  She didn’t tell me why, she just asked me if I knew where that muscle was that makes me stop from going to the bathroom (twink and big job)[3] and told me to flex it whenever I thought of it.

Yes, I’m flexing it right now.

Benefits of having healthy and strong PC muscles for women include reducing incontinence, to ward off vaginal prolapse, to regain composure after childbirth, to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles if overweight, and to improve sex.[4]

I pretty much knew that already but the benefits for men are amazing and there are lots of them.  Strengthening the PC muscle not only prevents premature ejaculation by giving more muscular control in the pelvis and increases the size and intensity of an erection but it decreases prostate pain and swelling resulting from benign prostatic hyperplasiaand prostatitis, reduces incontinence and increases bladder and bowel control, it promotes healthy hips even.

Of course, we have to thank Arnold Kegel for “inventing” the Kegel excercises in 1948.  …As if the Taoists and practisers of Tantric yoga weren’t flexing their pc muscles thousands of years ago.

Here is an exercise designed to exercise the muscle and help find it in the first place taken from an awesome book on multiple orgasms, the Multi-Orgasmic Couple that I bought at Venus Envy on Barrington the other day.  It really is best to exercise your doins when you’re not peeing but this is a good way to isolate the muscles.  It should only be these pelvic floor muscles involved in the exercise, not the butt or the hip ones!

Exercise: Stopping the Stream

                                                          1.  INHALE: as you get ready to urinate, inhale deeply

 2.  EXHALE AND PUSH OUT: Exhale slowly and

forcefully push out the urine (clenching

your teeth will intensify the practice)

3.  INHALE AND CONTRACT YOUR PC:

to stop the flow of urine midstream

4.  EXHALE AND PUSH OUT: resume urination

5.  REAPEAT UNTIL FINISHED: Repeat

steps 3 and 4 (urinating as you exhale and

stopping the stream as you inhale) three

to six times or until you have finished

going to the bathroom[5]

The best thing to do is to exercise the area whenever you can.  It’s something you can do where ever you are, no one will notice!  Like exercising any muscle in the body, you should work your way into strength.  There are many recommendations for how to and how much to exercise your PC muscles all over the internet.  Do your research and work towards being able to hold a wet facecloth on your erection.

Taoist

The Taoists thought about sex in healthy terms, not moral ones.  They believed that ejaculating drained a man of energy therefore well practiced lovers did not do it much.  They used meditation and breathing as well as their PC muscle to draw the orgasm back into the body and continue making love.

They even have recommendations according to age for how much a man should orgasm: a man of 20 can ejaculate once every 4 days, 30 every 8 days, 40 every 10, 50: 20, and a man of 60 should not ejaculate.

Until Confucius came along and got everyone all prudish in about 1000AD, the Taoists were very open about sex, treated it as a healthy good thing to do, and had multiple orgasms all the time.[6]

Tantric Loving

Tantric practices are based more on the mutual pleasure of both partners involved than holding back semen for health reasons.  The Kama Sutra teaches men how to slow down, pace themselves using their breath and use movement, sound, and the mind to spread the sexual energy throughout their body.  It recommends the same thing me and the Taoists have recommended: to command your body and the muscles around the prostate gland to stop from ejaculating.[7]

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[1] For more information check out http://ca.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/67b_love_tip.html#ixzz1uso75RJ0 or http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/considering-cock-rings   or browse around http://www.thundersplace.org/forum/index.php a forum dedicated mainly to PE (penis enlargement) and full of funny little abbreviations like BP (bone pressed)

[2] http://www.mademan.com/mm/5-tips-prolonging-male-orgasm.html

[3] That’s right, my mother didn’t want us saying “rude” words in public so we were taught to say twinks (or twinkilate, as dad called it) and big job, not pee and poop.

[4] It must be noted here that it can be a disservice to your pussy to over-excersise it.  They have to relax sometimes too and since we don’t pee and poop like we’re naturally meant to by squatting with our fancy dancy modern toilets, they don’t get much of a chance to.  Read more at: http://mamasweat.blogspot.ca/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html

[5] Or “twinxing” as I’d say when I was six. Mantak Chia & Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams & rachel carlton Abrams, MD.  the Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know.  (2000). New York, Harper One.  This book comes from a Taoist perspective.

[6]More info on Taoist philosophy and multiple orgasms here: https://www.mistermanpower.net/Multiple_Male_Orgasms.php

“When a man squanders his semen, he will be sick and if he carelessly exhausts his semen he will die.”
—Sun S’su-Mo, Priceless Recipe, circa 700 CE  read about the counter argument to Sun S’su-Mo that says ejaculating all the time is the way to go here: http://www.somalab.net/male-multiple-orgasms-myths.php

[7] Read or listen to an interview with Somraj Pokras, a happily aging East Indian mans four step process of prolonging ejaculation (1:breathe and relax muscles; 2: create a sensitivity and awarness of the body’s feelings; 3: measure your arousal; 4: supreme control) http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/225-sex-tantra-and-kama-sutra/episodes/3755-male-multiple-orgasm-tantra-energetics

or buy his book: Male Multiple Orgasms available at www.TantraAtTahoe.com